"What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger"

Michael enlightened me to this truth somewhere near 12 years ago. I am not sure what I did or said to prompt that response. I do remember the phrase though (at least I think that I quoted it correctly). I think that I tried to argue with him about the veracity of such a statement (I used to argue quite a lot). I probably was hoping for a pity-party, at the time, and didn't appreciate the lack of "feeling" in his tone. Like many phrases, this one was coined in the military.

To tell you the truth, I don't know whether I agree or disagree with the statement. It has offered me some encouragement today. I don't feel very well. I am having problem with one of my wisdom teeth. I am teething. And yes, this is why I am so wise. None the less, I am popping ibuprofen to keep the edge off and try not to be so grumpy.

The list of "things to do" at home just keeps getting longer and more confusing. When I asked the recruiter, just after Michael enlisted, about passports he assured me that the "Army would take care of it." I pictured 6 agreeable smiling for photos and then I would be handed 6 shiney passports for the children by a pleasant looking woman in ACU's. What neither the recruiter or I knew however was that this, getting of the passports, would require a durable power of attorney and the children and I loading up in the van for a quick drive to Ft. Lewis, some 3 hours away. I am not really looking forward to that.

Meanwhile we are trying to sort out options:

Shortly after arriving at the base in Baumholder, Germany, Michael was told that the unit that he is assigned to will be deploying in March. If the little ones and I arrive in Germany at end of October, we will be with Michael for about 4 months.

• should we sell the house and move to Germany (staying there while he is in the sand box)?
• should we fly ourselves and very few necessities and then return home for the deployment?
• will he, by God's intervention, stay on in Germany during the rest of the units deployment as a part of the rear detachment?
  
• how long can we or should we wait to make these decisions?

What we know (at this minute) is that God is in control of all our circumstances. The "mountain top experiences" as well as the "belly of the whale" experiences are all ordered by a soverign God. Right now I think that we are relating more to Jonah than to Moses on Mt. Sinai (or Peter, James, and John at the Transfiguration). It feels good to know that in each of those, and our situations, we can trust that God has us exactly where he wants us.

So, as His servant, I say with trembling (in my flesh) and absolute resolve (in my spirit), "God, you bought me with a price. I am no longer my own. Be glorified in my life. Change, rearrange, cleanse, purify, guide, correct, lead, use, shape, and sanctify me. Do those hard things for me that I currently imperfectly attempt to do with the children that you have given me. You are my loving father. My trust is wholly and only in You. To trust in anyone or anything else is idolatry. Please protect me from the evil one and all of his accusations and deceptions. Please heal my aching heart, my sore mouth, and my weary mind. You are my all in all."

Michael, I trust God and I beleive in you. Where you go, I go (at least where ever I can go). Your God is my God and your little people are my little people. I can't wait to see you.

Love to all, flesh and friend alike,
Sunshine